Wedding Tips and Tricks

A few wedding thoughts/tips from this weekend for my pastor friends…

Pre-Rehearsal: A wedding rehearsal is the key to making a good wedding happen.  The secret to the rehearsal is all in pre-marriage counseling sessions.  In those four session I take time to sit down and communicate with the bride and groom marriage topics like communicating with each other, money, sex, kids, and in-laws (they are about an hour sessions and my wife usually sits in). While those sessions are a discussion all in itself, at the end of each session I spend a good chunk of time discussing with the bride various details of the ceremony and how they are coming along.  We talk about what she wants the ceremony to entail and how best i can make that happen for her.  By the end of the forth session her and I pretty much have plotted out every detail of her big day.  A week before the wedding I will give the bride one final call and we will talk through the final service I have to make sure everything is set.

Good books to give the bride: Complete Book of Christian Wedding Vows By H. Norman Wright

Rehearsal: At the rehersal I’ll gather everyone in the first couple of rows before we start.  I’ll pray for the weekend events, give a few introduction on who I am, and talk about how I know the couple.  After introductions I then communicate how much the bride and I have been talking in the previous months.  I communicate this important fact; if anyone has any questions on the wedding they need to come to me, not the bride.  This gives the bride some room to breathe and myself a chance to make sure everything is set to standard.  Think about it this way.  It’s better to have everyone mad at you at the rehearsal (which will pass) and have a great wedding the next day than run a poor rehearsal and have an awful wedding that everyone will remember for a life time.  The devil is in the details.  Knock him out at the rehearsal.  Be a man, step up and take control.

NOTE: I gather everyone on stage at the start of the rehearsal according to how they will look at the end of the wedding then have them walk out.  We then run through the wedding twice without doing any of the vows or exchanging of the rings.  You don’t want the rehearsal going to long.  Concentrate on keeping things running and constantly communicating with the bride to make sure she’s happy.

Wedding: I’m going to fire at random here. Start by showing up a half hour to fourty-five minutes early. Dress sharp (nice black suit, black tie, black shoes, and white dress shirt. Bonus: wear a simple silver watch) . Shake hands with the family and the people as you come in contact with them.  Stay out of the way as much as possible.  Look people in the eye when you talk.  Listen more, speak less.  Smile constantly.  Think of this day as your own wedding day. Get into the mindset that what happens in the next four hours will be remembered for a lifetime. With all that said, try and relax.

Post Wedding/Reception: This is a hard one but here is where you take care of the marriage license.  Why? The photographer usually wants to take pictures of the couple signing.  Take care of all the details by mailing the marriage license for them.  It’s your job.

The next question is how long to stay at the reception.  Your time at the reception all depends on how well you know the couple It’s polite to stay until there the dancing start (if there is dancing).  If their is no dancing then stay until the family mingles.

NOTE: I know drinking is a hot button issue in a lot of Christian circles so do yourself a favor here and don’t drink at the reception.  Some pastors drink, some don’t. Whatever.  We’re not talking about that right now.  All I;m saying is that if you do drink on occasion, don’t drink at a reception of the wedding you just officiated. You’ll kill your reputation quickly with some people present.

Just a few thoughts…

Did I miss anything?



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